Thursday, April 16, 2009

How Can I Run A Tight Ship When I'm Surrounded By Loose Cannons?

You remember in my alphabet meme when I mentioned that my worst habit was probably procrastination.

Let's just call it a gift and be done with it, shall we?

I've had 15 days to post about this blog tour, but I've just finished reading the book. It's non-fiction, so it got put off until the last minute. Non-fiction equals procrastination.

But you know something...it read a lot like a fiction book would. It was an easy, fun, humor-filled book and still filled with insight and encouragement. I read it in a day.

I'm going to give my copy away to one of my commenters, random selection of course. I also get to send in the number of commentors I have to the publicist, because the blog tour host that has the most gets to select one of their commentors to win a gift basket of 10 books put together by the author, Kathi Macias (fiction and non-fiction by various authors).


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About the Book:

(Homeland, CA) - For all the Christian women in the world who dread reading Proverbs 31 and wonder who on earth could ever live up to that woman - this book is for you. Between dirty diapers, complaining children, housework, husbands and a multitude of other attention-grabbing detours women face, award-winning author and speaker, Kathi Macias finds a way to encourage and biblically instruct women of all ages and phases. Women everywhere are the glue that holds their families together. Keeping everything under control challenges even the most organized household CEO. Kathi uses humor, God's Word, as well as practical insight and instruction to lovingly encourage women to grow in this progression of grace.

Readers will find How Can I Run a Tight Ship When I'm Surrounded by Loose Cannons?: Proverbs 31 Discoveries for Yielding to the Master of the Seas, filled with scriptural explanations and journaling pages to process and write their personal feelings and prayers. With sections of the book focused on each step of the learning process to guide our ships to safe harbor, readers will be happily surprised to find the funny without the fluff. Kathi's words are the "spoonful of sugar that makes the medicine go down." Her vulnerable approach facilitates the teachings of Proverbs 31, making it easier for women to swallow. The truth of the scriptures is very much alive and well throughout the pages, yet the ease and charm of the author's words entice readers to press forward and embrace the plan for God's woman today.

About the Author:

Kathi Macias is a multi-award winning writer who has authored 26 books and ghostwritten several others. A former newspaper columnist and string reporter, Kathi has taught creative and business writing in various venues and has been a guest on many radio and television programs. Kathi is a popular speaker at churches, women's clubs and retreats, and writers' conferences. She recently won the prestigious 2008 member of the year award from AWSA (Advanced Writers and Speakers Association) at the annual Golden Scrolls award banquet. Kathi "Easy Writer" Macias lives in Homeland, CA, with her husband, Al, where the two of them spend free time riding their Harley.


"Will the Real Superwoman Please Stand Up?" (an excerpt from How Can I Run a Tight Ship When I'm Surrounded by Loose Cannons?)

I've always been a control freak who wanted everything to run smoothly--perfectly, actually. No bumps or surprises, just--well, a "tight ship," as they say. And somewhere along the line I got the idea that I could make that happen--if I just tried hard enough. I think it may have started when I first saw Superman on our family's black and white TV and wondered, Is there a Superwoman somewhere? When I put that question to the adults in my life, they smiled and patted me on the head and said, "I don't think so, dear." So I decided to sign up for the job--a reasonable if somewhat naïve aspiration for a six-year-old, not so reasonable and way beyond naïve at twenty-six. Two decades after the birth of my Superwoman dream, I was still running as fast as I could and getting nowhere. My twenty-year-old dream was going down for the count, and I was nearly at the point of throwing in the towel--and then I met Jesus.

What a difference! Now I could latch on to verses like "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and "All things should be done decently and in order"--biblical affirmations of my desire to do things right, to do things efficiently and effectively, to do things with power and authority. Finally I was invincible--in Jesus, of course. Now all I needed was a godly role model and I'd be on my way.

I began my search in earnest, reading through the Scriptures until I came to Proverbs 31. Eureka! There, at last, was the epitome of the Superwoman I'd been hoping to become since I was six years old. The perfect woman--perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect housekeeper, perfect entrepreneur--all rolled into one! Not only did her husband and children praise her, but God must have approved of her as well or He certainly wouldn't have included her as an example in the Bible. My dream was alive and well once again! At last I would be able to "get it all together," to win instead of fail, to run a tight ship, and to keep things under control. Life was good, and the future looked bright.There was only one problem. I hadn't figured on all the loose cannons rolling around the deck of my not-so-tight ship...


Blog Tour Interview:

I understand you sometimes refer to this book as "discipleship with a grin." What do you mean by that, and why did you choose a humor format for a discipleship book?

Actually, I chose a discipleship theme for a humor title. As much as I hate to admit it, the title came to me one day and I knew I had to do something with it--just too good to pass up! So the more I thought/prayed about it, the more I realized it described my life, both naturally and spiritually. I began to try to lay out my spiritual growth via humorous life stories, and found they produced a natural pattern. From there I developed the five stages of spiritual growth into five sections for the book, and I was off and running! Besides, I learned from a friend/mentor years ago that you can "shove a lot of truth down people's throat when their mouth is open laughing," so I figured, why not???

What are some of the funniest "loose cannons" stories included in your book?

One of my favorites is the story of my very first women's retreat as a brand new Christian back in the "Jesus freak" days of baptisms at the beach and praise-ins at the park. I shared a room with three ladies I had never met, one of whom ended up being my "bunk mate." She snored, she was quite a bit overweight (taking up much more than her side of the bed!), and she "leaked" because she was still weaning her youngest child. You'll have to read the story to see how that experience taught me a lot about "spiritual face plants."

Another favorite story is about the time I took my three sons (two pre-teens and one elementary school age at the time) to the community swimming pool. The older boys decided to use their younger brother as a human beach ball, and when they ignored my cries from the side of the pool to stop, I actually had the nerve to jump into the water and swim right up to them and order them to stop. Their level of humiliation at being seen in the pool with their mother was as close to social suicide as it gets. But we all survived and learned a lot in the process.

Your book is divided into five sections. Can you briefly explain what they are and what they have to do with discipleship and humor?

As I mentioned earlier, the five sections correspond with what I consider the five stages of spiritual growth: crawling (infants or "rugrats") on our knees; walking (toddlers who are still a bit shaky but exploring and learning); running (stronger, more mature believers who are beginning to make a difference in their world); flying or soaring (eagles with a solid foundation and maturity to share with others); resting (back on our knees and realizing that place of utter dependence on Him is really the best place to be after all). The discipleship correlation is, I believe, evident in these stages; the humor comes in simply because I'm one of those slow learners who needs God to "hit me upside the head" at times, and I haven't been bashful about explaining those times in the book.

What advice can you give to the young mom out there who is juggling two kids, a fulltime job outside the home, a husband, housework, pets and church?

Life happens in seasons! You CAN'T be all things to all people at all times. It simply doesn't work. And if you don't believe it, read about my many crash-and-burn episodes as I tried! The Proverbs 31 woman is a composite picture of many women from different walks and stages of life; when we get a grip on that, it releases us to enjoy the season we're in right now, even as we prepare for the next one.

How did raising your own children help prepare you for the parenting side of the proverbial woman? Any tips you'd like to share?

Relax and enjoy them! Yes, even the rugrats and teenagers, because "this too shall pass." There were times I thought I'd go bald from pulling out my own hair over the frustrations and failures of that season of my life, but now it's my grandchildren who are passing through those rugrat-to-teen stages, and hey, I still have my hair! You'll make it--and so will your kids--in spite of your frustrations and failures. And yes, I know there are too many of those to mention (or admit to). I'm the queen of mom-failures, and yet my kids never cease to bless me with words of love and praise. Do I deserve it? Probably not. But I love every minute of it!

Do you have a favorite part of the book or a favorite chapter?

Several, in fact, but one in particular: Chapter 26, "Back Home Again," contains the story of my precious father, a man who lived for 88 years denying God's existence and then finally turning to him in his last week of life. It's one of the more serious stories in the book, but even that one ends on a humorous note.

If the Proverbs 31 woman is alive today, what does she look like?

She looks like me--and you--and every woman whose heart longs to please God and to raise her children according to the Scriptures, even though she knows she's doing well just to make sure they all have their sack lunches before they leave for school in the morning. She's thin, overweight, short, tall, black, white, brown, red, yellow, and polka dot when she catches her kids' chicken pox. And she's absolutely beautiful!!!

Are there some specific lessons you hope readers will learn and apply to their lives after reading your book?

I want them to learn to relax and laugh and enjoy this voyage called "life," and to trust the Captain of our souls to take us home safely when our trip is over, rather than struggling to "man the oars" ourselves.

What makes your book different than other books similar to yours that are in circulation today?

There are countless books written for "control freak" women who want to do it all and be it all--perfectly and completely at all times. This one, however, is not only written with a humorous tone, but it also takes the reader through what I call the five steps of spiritual growth: crawling, walking, running, flying--and back on our knees, totally dependent once again. I do this by exposing many of the sometimes humorous--and sometimes not so humorous--events in my own life as I progressed through the five stages.

Are there any authors that either influenced you personally or influenced your style of writing? Who are they and how did they influence you?

Brennan Manning, Henri J. M. Nouwen, and Max Lucado have to be right at the top of my favorite nonfiction authors list, simply because they call me back to the heart of worship, to a fresh appreciation of grace and a clarion call to rely totally upon God and not myself. I need those reminders on a regular basis. In addition, I love their writing styles. Their words "sing," and it is my goal to do the same with the words I write.

When you are not writing, what do you like to do? Do you have any hobbies?

Okay, now I have to 'fess up to how nearly one-dimensional I am. If I'm not writing, I'm...well, reading someone else's writing. That's at the top of my "what I like to do" list. However, I also spend time riding on the back of my husband's 2003 Harley Davidson Road King motorcycle. He's been riding HD's since 1970 and says he will never outgrow that youthful passion. On the road we are known as "Big Al" and "Easy Writer..."

For more information:

www.kathimacias.com

Follow the Blog:

http://tightships.wordpress.com

Order the Book:

www.newhopepublishers.com


Don't forget to comment by Tuesday the 21st at noon EST if you'd like a chance to win my copy. I was careful and the spine isn't even broken!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Alternate Uses

You know my fetish for these cheap inexpensive plastic bookends from Ikea.

Did you also know that fetish is only spelled with one 't' and not two?

I found out when I was teaching some Chinese teenagers ESL a couple of summers ago. One of the boys had gone shopping and bought shoes, we found out he had a shoe fetish, and they all brought out their little English-to-Chinese translator dictionaries. I spelled the word (I'm actually a very good speller), with two t's of course following our short sound rule and doubling the consonant, and they couldn't get it to come up. I pulled out my little Webster's I was carrying along with me, and low and behold it had one 't'. I would assume not doubling the consonant must have to do with the word root.

Well, the point of this post is to show you one of the other uses I found for these little bookends.

These are cd storage boxes that sit by our computer, of course also purchased at Ikea. This box has a hodge-podge of computer game directions, the second discs that aren't needed except for installation, etc. It's basically things that aren't accessed much, but it's also a box that isn't full and every thing was going all tippy. So I grabbed one of my plastic bookends, since I bought three thousand extra, and tried it. I was afraid it would be too tall, but it wasn't, and it worked fantastic!

I have them in several of the cd storage boxes and they work like a dream.

You should move by an Ikea just to buy these.



Wordless Wednesday — Valentine's Version of the Ring Pop



Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Memory Monday

Yes, I know it's Tuesday, but I refuse to skip this week.

From memory:

Deuteronomy 6:4-7
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be written upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

By next Monday I hope to have this passage through verse 9 completed, and without any mistakes.

Visit Joanne at The Simple Wife for Memory Monday.


Friday, April 10, 2009

m&m's, Marbles, and Toxic Morons

Let's start with the toxic morons.

We've had a little too much sibling name calling at our house. That explains the m&m's and marbles, too, but one thing at a time.

Caboose was being ornery to Chatty the other day when they were putting their shoes on right before leaving the house, still forgetting that he wants her children to take care of him someday so he doesn't have to go to a nursing home because he's never getting married. There was some bickering, and eventually his comment was 'because I'm amazing.'

Chatty proceeded to say that he was an oxymoron, probably meaning to say that the comment was, but oh, well, whatever. Caboose came running to his dad, "Dad, Chatty just called me a Toxic Moron!"

Several months ago I read someone's idea about using little Ball jars and marbles (or nickels or something) as a behavior tool. I think it was on a WFMW post, but I can't remember exactly how they used it, and I've been trying to figure out how it would work best for us.

Well, the other day all six of us were in the van. Hubby and I were talking to the kids about using 'ma'am' and 'sir' with 'yes' and 'no' because they have gotten out of that habit. One of the kids brought up how I used to give them an m&m every time they would say 'yes, ma'am' and 'no, ma'am' during the day without prompting for a while just to get them in the habit. All of this brought up a long m&m discussion and some creative juices flowing between me and Hubby.

First, he said that they would have to research to find out how many m&m's were in a bag, then when they did that many good things, determined by us of course, then they could have the bag. I suggested that we implement this with the marble jars, having equal numbers of marbles to the m&m's per bag. Hubby thought that was an excellent idea.

Well, homeschoolers can turn anything into a project. The kids couldn't find any definite answers on the internet on m&m's per bag, and neither could I. So we bought four bags, the kids were happy with a freebie bag to start things off, and they got to do their first excel spreadsheet.

First they had to count the number of m&m's in their individual bags by color, and then total the number of m&m's in their bag.

Then they added up the total from all four bags and divided by four to get an average, because each bag did not have an equal number.

I found a tutorial on About.com to help the kids with the tables. I know how to use excel, but I wanted them to work together without me being all teachy and bossy. I just hung close by.

Caboose read the information off to the other kids to input for the spreadsheet.

This is a little boy who cannot stand still because he is so bored waiting to go eat that bag of m&m's waiting for him downstairs on the table.

Here are the results of my kids' four bags of m&m's.

In total...

...and by color.

The average was 54 and 1/2. We rounded down to 54.

So now for the marbles. First, aren't they pretty?

Each child has one color. The front, middle jar with the darker blue marble is mine and is called the 'Mom marble.' As pretty as they are, you don't want those.

So here's how it works. You want to empty your jar into the large one in the back, including any Mom marbles you might have gotten. When your jar is empty, you get a bag of m&m's.

How do you remove marbles? By saying yes, ma'am, no, sir, being polite, coming when called the first time, not yelling, helping without being asked, not complaining, doing normal things that are expected of you (brushing teeth, washing face) without being told, clearing your dishes from the table, etc. Can you tell manners have become a little issue for us?

Things that make you lose your marbles...calling your siblings names, hitting, yelling, not doing things within a reasonable amount of time when you didn't do it right away, complaining excessively, etc. There isn't a list, but you get the idea.

These are all things that we've dealt with on a regular basis and talked about numerous times with our kids. We've discussed Bible verses, and at times we've even had them write them down. It's time for a different tactic, and for now, this is what we are trying. We sure hope it works well.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

He's Done It Again

Caboose that is.

A few weeks ago the kids were watching something with Hubby, probably hunting or fishing, on a Saturday morning, and saw this commercial. It's only 30 seconds long, so watch it before you read the rest of the post.


Now ignore me without my make-up and take a look at Hubby (Sparky took the picture when I was cooking dinner).

Need a closer look?

Caboose's comment that Saturday morning: "Dad, you don't even need to use that stuff!"

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Shopping for Two Pairs of Formal Shoes in Under 8 Minutes...and It Was for Teenagers, Too!

I had to pull out the 'Mom card' with one of the girls.

It wasn't with Chatty.

See, Sparky doesn't like to dress up. Sparky likes to wear jeans and plain tees and pull on a hoodie or sweatshirt. She has about 30 or more pair of sports knee socks in varying colors and prints. At any given time they may or may not match what she is wearing.

She didn't want to have to purchase a 'fancy' dress for the Senior Banquet that our church has for the 9th-12th grade members of the youth group. She doesn't like to wear dresses. Period. She wears a skirt to church.

Sparky considers a button or bow, or even a little extra stitching on a shirt 'fancy.' So imagine going to get a dress for this semi-formal event.

Not a pretty picture, but we did it. Then we found scarves at Target to use as wraps, as did at least two other girls in the group, so I was pleased that I could do a little bit of trendy or fashionable or something along those lines.

Last Friday Hubby and I had eight minutes to run in Payless with both girls, find shoes, try on shoes, and pay for shoes, before leaving for a chiropractor appointment. I prepped him before we went in, and sent him with Chatty. She's easy to please and had an idea what she wanted.

Sparky wasn't going to like anything and has a tiny foot that complicates matters. She can wear a size 5 adult shoe, but we ended up looking at children's since she doesn't wear heels.

She got a size 3 children's shoe! It broke every rule she has for fancy — silver, shiny, sparkly, glittery, and a bow. She hated them. But they fit and I knew that any shoes we found that fit and went with her dress she was going to hate, so that's when I pulled out the 'Mom card' and said we were buying them and she was wearing them.

Turns out she didn't think they were too bad in the long run, but she'll never really admit it. I even made her let me polish her toenails, which I haven't done since she was probably five years old.

And we got out of the store in 9 minutes, which I still think is amazing!

After the chiropractor, we ran over to one of the nearby Kohl's to look for some costume jewelry. Chatty got some earrings and bracelets.


Sparky got a necklace, after I pulled the 'Mom card' again.

First the kids all met at the church for pictures. We took a few before they left the house with one of the girl's digital cameras.



This is the girls' 9th grade class — the ones that weren't late.

This is the girls with their group of friends. We have been blessed to have found a church not only with wonderful pastors that we respect and adore, but a place where all of our children love to go and have found wonderful friends.

The evening started at a fancy Asian restaurant with lots of courses.


Then they rode the bus over to Michigan State to see The Lion King.

It was Sparky and Chatty's first fancy/formal event, and they had a wonderful time.

They also looked so pretty in their 'fancy' attire.


 
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