Friday, July 10, 2009

Tag — with a Guest Blogger!

I was tagged in a new way by both Mari and Bonnie. In this version of tag, the person who is 'it' tells a story with a bunch of different blog names in the story, and if your blog name is in the story, consider yourself tagged.

Get it?

And like in the original, real, game of tag, I think you can be it more than once. You know, if you're slow. So I felt free to use Mari and Bonnie's blog names in the story.

Except that I didn't write it. I had a guest blogger. My very first one. My hubby! He wrote a story for me.

I gave him a piece of paper with blog names and said, "Please put as many of these into as short and funny of a story as you can," and that was it. He wrote it in Word, and I copied it and pasted it over here.

Only his story isn't short. But it is funny.

And since he's guest blogging, please read it.

Thank you.

My Vacation.

Oh, I Take Joy in telling you the story of my vacation to Cherry Hill Cottage for the celebration of Callapidder Days. I say this of course with facetiousness leaping off my tongue. In My Little Corner of the World vacations are a rarity, but being the Money Saving Mom this was the year. A lot of people like to take vacations to exotic destinations, but not us; we were going to be Kicking It In Crazyville. Yep, that’s where the cottage is located, Crazyville. Really, Take 90 West until it ends, spits you right out in Crazyville. The name fits the place.

It started harmlessly enough; the day was a Simple Beauty. With a little Creative Organizing in the back of the van, we finally got all of our luggage loaded. You see, when it comes to traveling I’m not The Simple Wife. I like my own pillows — all four of them. I like my children to have their own pillows — all four of them. There are just certain necessities. To be honest, my husband is really The Lazy Organizer, and doesn’t enjoy trying to fit the entire Home Sanctuary into the minivan. I'm an Organizing Junkie and look forward to the challenge! My husband’s idea for “Controlling My Chaos” is packing one change of clothes and a tent. That is so…….native, and definitely would not make me The Happy Housewife.

Tuesday was our first full day in Crazyville. It was over a hundred degrees outside so all I wanted to do was stay in The Inspired Room of the Heritage Schoolhouse. It was named so because that’s where Mr. Reece and Mr. Jeather, pronounced like an 'H' because he was of Spanish descent, had the "inspiration" to change the name of the town from Heritage to Crazyville. The room inspired me to stay inside where it was cool. That evening we went to a small local playhouse and saw a rendition of the famous play “Confessions of a Pioneer Woman.” Hubby’s theory is that they took Little House on the Prairie storylines and changed Laura’s name to Bea. Needless to say, Our Quiverfull as a whole was not happy. We had a couple of boy “arrows” that were “so bored I think I’m going to die.” That’s ok, the next night was their night.

Wednesday was just as hot, if not hotter than Tuesday. The highlight of the day was our introduction to Lady Beatrice de’Ville. So famous was she, that the town folk just knew her as The Queen B. We’d never met such a popular stray cat. A little later we went to the local fudge shop and had vanilla pencils and Chocolate Ink pens. Very creative! Other than that the day was spent sitting by the pond watching each other sweat. That evening we had big things planned. First, we were going to an open air, albeit hot air, concert featuring My Five Men, and then we were going to be treated to a big Crazyville tradition (they wouldn’t tell us what). The concert was interesting, you might even say entertaining in a comedic sort of way. It seems that My Five Men had a lot in common with Milli Vanilli. Unfortunately, when man number five succumbed to the heat, they had no one left to play their tape. You might say they instantly transitioned into the 4 Reluctant Entertainers. After dark our host told us it was about time for us to go to Farmer Joe’s and see what Crazyville was all about. The boys went Crazy when we found out that we were Goin’ Cow Tippin’. Now we had a couple of girl “arrows” that refused to leave the quiver. I’m with the girls — this night I’m MomE & Loving It. Hubby says that Joe turns out to be quite the Tip Junkie. Cool thing was he was quite the tipper on tippin’. He lived up to his reputation in these parts as the top tipper, and is now the envy of my boys.

Thursday was another hundred degree day. Hubby and the boys couldn’t fathom the thought of returning to the playhouse to see the production of “Confessions of an Apron Queen.” Hubby said he feared it may be a play about Martha Stewart. Don’t even ask what my thoughts were about Ol' Mother Nature. I’ll just say that I started referring to her as the Big BooMama. The day started relatively cool, and my initial thought was It's a Bubble Bath Day. Unfortunately, the only bubbles I saw this day were the ones resulting from the sweat boiling on my skin. I don’t think a cold bubble bath would be much fun. Hubby was very supportive. He reminded me that his idea was to camp in Yellowstone Park, and the high temperature that day was seventy-one. It slapped me right back to reality. Sleeping on the ground in a tent, watching my family getting eaten by a bear, or a wolf pack, or….do buffalo eat people too? I now found appreciation in hundred degree days. That night I said a small, simple prayer, “God, please Bring The Rain.”

I woke up early on Friday thankful it was the last day of our vacation. We would be heading home tomorrow on 90 East. A soft rain was falling, an answered prayer. Hubby was watching the History Channel. The kids were lined up at the window quietly watching the Backyard Birds. I got on the computer, and while surfing the net and Blogging Along, our Blissfully Domestic cottage turned into a house of horrors. You see, on this otherwise quiet rainy day, The Queen B invaded The Sparrow's Nest. The Bless Our Nest sign the kids had made at the craft shop earlier in the week and which Hubby had nailed under the nest was knocked down. As I ran outside to assess the damage, I hit the wet porch and the next thing I know I’m Looking Towards Heaven. Though slow in responding and initially a bit irritated, Hubby came to my resue. He had been watching the Ignorant Historian explain how General Lee led the Union Forces across the Potomac River into Canada during Operation Desert Storm, but he took me to the hospital where everything checked out ok. When we got back to the cottage Hubby showed the kids how the hospital had Freebies 4 Mom; namely, a neck brace for precautionary purposes, nice yellow socks with grippies (which Hubby joked would help on the slick porch) and a large bottle of Motrin. Then Hubby broke the news; turns out that the Sparrows had found a new Nesting Place and hadn’t set up residence in their nest this year.

We returned home on Saturday. I recovered. Hubby unloaded and cleaned, although he didn’t check the boys pants pockets prior to washing and drying the clothes. I’m beginning to think I need to start Learning to Trust Hubby to plan our vacations, but right now I’m really enjoying My Blessed Life at home where I have more than 5 Minutes for Books.

Oh no, gotta go. I hope what I hear is not Hubby drying Rocks In My Dryer again.

Thanks for the story, Hubby. You did a great job! I also appreciate how you told everyone how many pillows I have and how you put all my current Yellowstone issues into the story. Really.

And in case you forgot, that was ink pens you were drying in my dryer. Please don't try rocks.


Bonnie said...

Oh my goodness Kayren, he did such a good job ! I think hubby might need to start a blog of his own ... or at least guest blog on yours from time to time !! :)

Mari said...

I am so, so impressed! He got all those names to fit in so naturally and told a few things on you - and him at the same times! I'm with Bonnie - tell him to come back anytime!

onlymehere said...

Tell hubby he did a great job! This is a great tag. Cindy

MomE said... long did that take? I'm impressed...he got both my I'm officially tickled pink! What a neat post to come back to after a long vacation away from bloggy world!

Ronnica said...

Oh my, this is hilarious and clever! I bet it took you as long to link up all the blogs as it did the hubby writing this story! It's so up my alley...I'll hopefully be doing it later this week or next!

Rochelle said...

awwww! that is great!!! i just saw this and will need to get working on it shortly. wow, not sure i can do nearly as good a job as him, but i'll do my best! :) thanks for the tag, that's sweet! :)

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